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Tom
Bob: Okay, I've got one more movie to review and then that's it. I love the Wizard of Oz. Hell, I think it may be may be the best movie ever made, and I am seriously getting sick of all these mediocre knockoffs mooching off its success! So, what are we looking at today? ''The poster for Tom & Jerry and The Wizard of Oz pops up on the screen accompanied with a "DUN DUN DUN!!!" dramatic chord. ''Bob: Damn it! Brief clips from Tom and Jerry: The Movie play. Bob: Great, thanks for introducing another timeless comedy duo and reminding me of the tragic film history they share. This crossover is going to be as smooth as silk. Footage from Tom and Jerry & The Wizard Of Oz starts rolling. Bob: After the opening credits which mirror the credits of the original MGM movie, we open with- Whoa... ''Dorothy Gale is seen wandering in her home farm on Kansas with her dog Toto following her and barking. ''Dorothy (Grey DeLise): Come on, Toto. She isn't coming yet, Toto. Did she hurt you? ''Toto whimpers as Dorothy picks him up. ''Dorothy: ''She tried to, didn't she? Come on, we'll go to Uncle Henry and Auntie Em. ''Bob: Oh my god... the animation is decent, the art direction is very indicative of the original cartoons from the 1940's, and it looks like they're retelling the original MGM movie? Continue. Dorothy meets up with Auntie Em and Uncle Henry. Bob: *voiceover* We find Auntie Em and Uncle Henry counting chicks like in the original movie, and Jerry is there to help them count too. One of them gets out and we're treated to some classic Tom and Jerry slapstick. ''One of the chicks' chirping gets Tom's attention who gets up in an attempt to eat the helpless bird. Jerry notices in a shocked manner and rushes over to save him. Before Tom can devour the chick, Jerry inserts a rock into the tire swing and swings it forth to Tom. Tom is catapulted into the air and is now shaped like a frisbee which causes him to roll and crash into a saw wood stand. Tom is now caught in the saw as Jerry rescues the chick. Cut to another scene where Dorothy is near a pigsty. ''Bob: *voiceover* You see more familiar scenes from the movie while Tom and Jerry subtly insert themselves into it as if they were there which surprisingly makes some sense in this scene since- ''A brief clip from the original MGM movie plays where a rather clean, Dorothy Gale is rescued out of a dirty looking pigpen. ''Bob: *voiceover* Yeah, why wasn't Dorthy covered in mud after falling into the pigsty? ''Cut back to the Tom and Jerry/Oz movie. ''Dorothy: Tom. Jerry. Thanks ever so much. Dorothy hugs the both of them and lets go of them where Tom and Jerry are still hugging each other. Realizing their "bonding", Tom and Jerry break away from each other and cross arms. Auntie Em (Frances Conroy): Boys, I know you two like to tussle, but will you promise me something? ''Tom and Jerry who are eating corn seeds nod their head in understanding. ''Auntie Em: You're awfully good at looking after her. She needs someone to protect her and Toto too. Promise me you'll do that. ''Tom and Jerry look at each other, then they raise their left arm in salute, and then they cross their heart. ''Bob: Hey, just as long as they aren't singing about how they like being friends, I'm fine. Cut to Dorothy Gale singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow while Tom and Jerry continue their cartoonish antics in between. Bob: ''*voiceover* So, we get Dorothy singing Over The Rainbow, and while its even possible to so much hold a candle to Judy Garland, this is a pretty good rendition of it. And again, it's much better then seeing Tom and Jerry singing it. ''Dorothy (Nikki Yanofsky): Somewhere over the rainbow/ Blue birds fly/ Birds fly over the rainbow/ Why then/ Oh why can't I? While Dorothy is singing, the blue birds that fly over Dorothy land near Tom and Jerry laying back on the fence. Two birds then land on Tom's head which prompts him to eat them. Jerry notices and walks offscreen. He comes back with a plank of wood which he uses to whack Tom on the back of his head which makes him spit out the birds complete with a "Cha-ching!" sound. Bob: *voiceover* Of course, this sweet little moment is ruined when Miss Gulch shows up to take Toto away, and Tom & Jerry rescue him in there particularly slapsticky fashion. ''As our two cartoon heroes are chasing after Miss Gulch, Jerry hops onto the basket getting ready to land on Gulch's bike. Unfortunately, Tom hits a rock which causes their bike to break up in half. Tom holds onto both ends of the bike which stretches his body. Jerry is closer to Gulch's bike and leans for Toto's basket. He falls in holding on to both ledges and gets smashed in between by them. Unable to hold the front the end of his bike, Tom loses control of it and his arms end up tied around his body. Jerry unlocks the basket and flies away while hitting the front end of Tom's bike. Toto sticks his head out of the basket and hops out, running back to the Gale farm. Tom and Jerry are now caught up with Miss Gulch. ''Miss Gulch (Frances Conroy): What in the world?! i know you two, you're that Tom and Jerry from the Gale farm! ''Tom and Jerry blow a raspberry at her. Then, both of their bikes hit a log which causes the three of them to fly into the air. Tom lands first on his unicycle. Then, Miss Gulch lands on his hand and Jerry lands on her last. They see a fence up ahead which causes the three of them to scream as they burst right through it and into a trench. ''Miss Gulch: I'll get you, Tom and Jerry, and that little dog too! ''Cut to the next scene where a tornado is roaring on the fields of Kansas. ''Zeke (Todd Stashwick): ''It's a twister! It's a twister! ''Bob: *voiceover* So far, this movie is progressing nicely enough, but it's at this point where we see a real problem regarding the movie's premise. Tom and Jerry run over to save Dorothy and Toto from being hit by a log. Jerry saves Dorothy by tugging her dress back and Tom saves Toto by plucking him in the air which causes him to get crushed by the falling log in the process. Bob: *voiceover* Tom and Jerry are charged with protecting Dorothy in a world where they're still subject to cartoon physics. There isn't anything wrong with Tom getting maimed repeatedly, but if his suffering has no long lasting consequences, why do they need to protect Dorothy when you'd think that she would be as immune to all this punishment like Tom and Jerry naturally are. But despite their cartoonish tolerance for pain, Tom & Jerry both get knocked out and are transported to Oz. We then see Tom and Jerry walking around in Munchkinland. Bob: *voiceover* Before they can properly marvel at this beautifully recreated Munchkinland, we meet... *sighs* Tuffy. Tuffy (Kath Soucie): I'm Tuffy the Munchkin Mouse, and I'd like to welcome you to Munchkinland. ''Tuffy pulls out a bugle and blows it at full volume in Tom and Jerry's faces. ''Tuffy: I'm afraid Dorothy's left hours ago! ''Tufy heads into the Munchkin garden and Tom & Jerry follow him in. Tuffy uses the bugle to blow bubbles into the water which show a recap of the Munchkinland scenes in Wizard of Oz. ''Tuffy: ''The house you and Dorothy came in landed on the Wicked Witch of the East and crushed her. Dorothy had freed us from the witch and then Glinda the Good Witch of the North, gave Dorothy the ruby slippers. Then, the Wicked Witch of the West showed up and take the magical ruby slippers. She'll do anything to get them. ''Bob: *voiceover* And yes, he.. she.. it, is voiced by Kath Soucie. I'm sure she has her fans, but to me, it just sounds like she's almost doing the same damn voice over, and over, and over again. ''*on camera* But I guess it's a good thing she's only playing a Munchkin here. I mean, it's only a matter of time before Tom and Jerry go back to doing their thing- ''To Bob's chagrin, the abominable Tuffy starts to sing his own rendition of the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion's "If I Only Had The _" songs. As Tuffy sings, the screen cuts back and forth to Bob who can only react by holding his hand out with a confused look on his face. Tuffy: Oh it's sad, believe me mister/ When you're tiny as a blister/ Without the strength to fight/ But I don't show my prowess/ Though I'm just a humble mouse/ If I only had the height! I'm afraid there's no denying/ I'm small but I'm not crying/ I'm gonna be all right/ I'd be tall as a giant-'' ''Bob: You're gonna be of the main characters. are ya? Tom, Jerry and Tuffy are now walking on the Yellow Brick Road. Bob: *voiceover* So, Tom, Jerry and... ugh, Tuffy, follow the Yellow Brick Road. And Tom, being the most likeable character in this movie quickly tires of Tuffy. Unable to tolerate Tuffy's singing, Tom plucks him up from the ground and shoves him into a corn cob. Tuffy: Because, because, because, because, BECAUSE!!! Bob: *voiceover* We meet a couple of crows who look like a mix between Heckle & Jeckle and the crows from Dumbo, and ask them for directions. Tuffy: How'd you do Mister Crows? I'm Tuffy. And these are my friends, Tom and Jerry. Bob: *mocking Tuffy* I introduce myself because I'm the main character! It's much more easier for me to speak for Tom and Jerry than to have the whole film be told in total silence! Bob winces his face as he grasps his hands out to the camera. Bob: *voiceover* They get sent down a different path than the one Dorothy and her friends went down, but I guess any path would have done since they catch up with Dorothy and her friends that she met offscreen. But the Wicked witch catches up her with too and she tries to do her in with a little magic-induced avalanche. Wicked Witch of the West (Frances Conroy): Give me that wand, little mouse. It's mine! ''Instead of giving her the wand, Jerry uses the wand to turn the Witch's hat into an octopus. The Witch grabs the wand back from Jerry and turns him into a penguin. Tom snatches it and turns her head into that of a frog. Witch yanks it back and turns Tom into a platypus. Jerry takes it once more and turns the Witch into a clown. ''Clown! Wicked Witch of the West: Enough of this foolishness! The Wicked Witch takes the wand back and reverts back to her normal self. Bob: What foolishness would you like to see? *voiceover* But Jerry manages to stop the avalanche just before it hits them. Jerry casts a magic spell to turn the rolling boulders into dandelions which does not harm Dorothy, The Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion and covers them in dandelions instead. Tin Man (Rob Paulsen): We're saved! Cowardly Lion (Todd Stashwick): ''Unusual weather we're having. ''Bob: *voiceover* They finally catch up with Dorothy and her new friends introduce themselves. Scarecrow (Michael Gough): I'm hoping the Wizard will give me some brains. Tin Man: ''I want a heart. ''Cowardly Lion: ''I need some courage. ''Tuffy: I want some height. Bob: I want a rock. Tuffy sings his "If I Only Had The Height" song again. Tuffy: I'm afraid there's no denying-'' ''Bob: Oh wait, here's a rock. ''Bobsheaux picks up a rock and throws it at Tuffy which lands on him splattering blood and accompanied with a gooey "SPLAT!" sound. ''Bob: *voiceover* So, they make it to the Emerald City. But first, they need to get cleaned up a bit before they can see the Wizard. They throw in some classic Tom and Jerry mayhem and... Tuffy presses a button labelled "HOT WAX" which causes a mechanical hand to pour hot wax all over Tom's back and then rips off his fur revealing his skin. Bob: *voiceover* There we go. Tom lets out a painful yell as a baby chicken who was probably being lurked by Tom lands in Dorothy's lap and Jerry and Tuffy shake hands. Bob: *voiceover* Tom tries to hide after the Witch announce he's on her hitlist too, and Jerry & Tuffy have to remind him of why he's here. Tuffy: ''You can't run away, Tom. You promised to protect Dorothy! ''Bob: *voiceover* Yes, it was really important you had to reiterate that point. It's not as if there's a non-verbal gesture that someone could make to remind him of that promise. OH WAIT, YES THERE IS! You're not needed here, Tuffy. GO AWAY! Category:Transcripts Category:Franchises That Went Bad Throughout Time Category:Well-Animated Schlock